Congratulations on your first date. However, it is absolutely normal if you are feeling a little bit nervous or getting butterflies. That is how it is supposed to feel. But how did you guys meet?
Did you know each other from before and think of dating all of a sudden, or did you guys meet through a dating app? Is this the first time you are going on a date overall, or is this your first date with this particular person?
Well, I think I am boring you with all these stupid questions. Let’s come to the point and talk about your first date. Let’s get you prepared. You might have been on a few terrible dates before, or this could be your first date overall.
First dates do not always go as you plan or as you make up the entire thing in your mind. This is the first time you are out on a date, and you both are nervous and a little bit awkward, but if the person is right, the awkwardness won’t last for long.
So, before you go on your first date, I am going to help you prepare this time. Of course you can keep your friend on backup to call with a fake emergency, but let’s hope it’s going to work.
The first date says a lot
Even if you have done this before, you must be feeling nervous. So, let me tell you how a first date should feel like so you can figure it out for yourself. I am going to share one of the best first dates of my life just to break the ice here.
First Date Part One (movie)
It was not like we did not know each other before. We were already talking for a while and then thought about going out for our first date. After giving it a lot of thought, we decided that we would go for a movie, and that too a horror movie.
Even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep for nights after that, I agreed. I was nervous and in a rush so that I would not be late for my first date. Even though some of you would say otherwise, I did not want to keep him waiting.
We reached the movie theatre almost at the same time and were waiting for the movie to start. The movie somehow turned out to be hilarious and we had a good laugh in the interval. I was pretty nervous around him in the beginning, but he made it easy.
There were a few jumpscare moments in the movie, and he made sure I was not too scared. It was the first time he held my hands, and it felt like, “that is how it is supposed to be.” There was a spark, an instant connection.
First Date Part Two (cafe)
After the movie, we went to a cafe, and while we were on our way, it started raining. I couldn’t think of a more romantic setting. We rushed in but got drenched. If it had been some other time, I knew I would have complained about the rain.
But this time, it was different; everything felt different. It was nothing I had felt before. He ordered some good food, had a good conversation overlooking the rain, and joked about how he knew that we were meant to be together.
There was a song we always listened to and loved, and we thought that it was the perfect song for us. And while we were having an amazing conversation that song played in the background, and I couldn’t think straight. (It was he who asked them to play the song, and not a coincidence, which I found out way later.)
Do you understand what I am saying? When it is the right person, the right vibe, you click. It becomes easy, like you do not have to try. You are not scared to be yourself around them. Sometimes, it is the first date that says a lot about your relationship.
How to prepare for a first date
How to prepare for a first date? Well, there can be two different perspectives to this question. The first case could be that you are asking someone out, and the second could be someone has asked you out. So, here is how you are trying to prepare for your first date.
If you are asking someone out
There could be two possible situations here. Either you have had a crush on someone for some time, or you just spotted someone right away, and they caught your mind. Either way, the best thing to do here is to be straightforward about it and ask them out.
If you already know the person, then strike up a conversation and ask them out casually and see how they react. If they are interested, they are going to take you seriously, or they will just joke about it and let it slide casually.
But, once they agree, be prepared to impress them with all your charm, and try to strike up a conversation with them to figure out their likes and dislikes and fix the date accordingly. Dress well, and present them with your best version. Make sure that they are comfortable around you.
If you are being asked out
If the other person has asked you out, then there is a chance that they already like you. And if you know the person already, then you might take it casually. However, if you do not know the person well, then you might want to dress to impress them.
Be yourself, dress well, and make sure that you are not getting bored or boring the other person sitting across from the table. Do not stress, just relax, take a deep breath, and everything is going to bed just fine.
What do you look for on a first date?
First dates can be tricky. You might have sacrificed a party with your friends, so make sure that the person you are out with is worth it. However, it is difficult to understand the person on the first date if you do not know each other from before.
There are certain things that you should look for on a first date. Here are a few points that you should check off on your first date to know if they are worth it or not.
Whether you both have things in common
Check whether you both have things in common. If yes, you both will have a fun time discussing those topics. The conversation is going to go smoothly. Check whether you both are making each other laugh or enjoying each other’s company.
Check if you are feeling a physical attraction towards them; there is an unsaid chemistry. It would feel effortless, and you are going to look forward to seeing that person again.
If the conversation is going smoothly
It is obvious that you’re going to be nervous on your first date. That is one of the main reasons why having a smooth conversation can be difficult in the beginning. However, by the time you reach the end of the date, you guys should be having a smooth conversation.
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. So, it is one of the things that you should keep an eye out for. Talking to each other should be an easy process. Some people click immediately, but it is not unusual if you find it difficult to talk in the beginning; it should become easy by the end of the date.
Can you imagine yourself kissing them?
Even though people would say that it is all about the emotional connection, it is not. You should definitely feel attracted to the opposite person. I am not saying that you should kiss the person on your first date (but if you are comfortable enough, then why not?), but you should definitely feel attracted to them.
If the date is actually going well, and there is a chance that this person can be worth it, then you will find it easy to fantasize about them. Just think, “can you imagine yourself kissing that person?” If not, then there is no connection between the two of you.
Whether they have basic table manners
Well, not that this is some kind of a deal breaker, but having basic table manners is important. That is something you should be looking out for on your first date. If they are chewing loudly in a public place, that is not something decent, or how they are treating the servers shows a lot about their personality.
If they are making an effort to know you
Everybody expects a date who would be genuinely interested in them, and would try their best to get to know the other person. If you have asked someone out on a date and kept talking only about yourself, then that is where you are going wrong.
Maybe that is the reason why none of your previous dates have worked out for you. And when you are going out with someone, notice if they are genuinely putting effort to know you and not just making conversation by asking some generic questions.
Notice if you are happy with them
Being happy around a person you are dating is something very basic that you should look for. You have to be happy with them. If you are actually happy around a person, you will not realize how time will pass by. When you are happy around a person, you lose track of time.
Notice how they treat service people
Notice how they treat the people around them. It could just be a passerby or a server at the restaurant. If they treat everyone with kindness and are polite to everyone, that is a good sign. It means they have the quality of being a good partner down the road.
But if they are dismissive, rude, and disrespectful towards others, it could be a sign that they are not respectful.
Do they seem trustworthy?
I would admit that it is not possible to trust a person on a first date. However, you can sense it if you can be yourself around them without any fear of judgment. You can speak your mind, and they give out that feeling where you want to trust them from the very first moment.
Is there a physical attraction
It might sound a little shallow, but this is a true fact. You should always feel attracted to the person you are going on a date with. I am not saying that is the only thing that you should be looking for, but there should be an attraction, an appeal.
Check for their vibe
This is kind of a deal breaker. If the vibe does not match, then it is not going to work. You should have immediate chemistry with that person. Their presence should make you feel comfortable, and you do not have to think twice about speaking your mind.
Look your best on your first date
People mostly approach you if you are confident and secure. This is something that never goes wrong. So, try to be confident in your own skin and bring out the best version of yourself. If you are trying to look your best, of course, there are certain things you can try, but be confident in the first place.
Wear something comfortable
Wear something you are comfortable with. If you are not comfortable it is going to be evident through your facial expression and will also reflect in your body language. Choose something that gives your confidence a boost.
Do your hair
This is also related to the first point. If you are comfortable with a certain hair, do not try to change it just because you are gouging on a date. Of course, you should put in some effort to look your best, but make sure you do that, keeping your comfort in mind.
Try to keep it simple, but do it in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Do not do something extravagant or put in an extra amount of hair gel. That is just not going to work.
Pay attention to details
Once you have figured out the outfit and how you want your hair, the next part is paying attention to the details. Make sure your nails are clean, you are wearing proper shoes, and, of course, clean your glasses. Paying attention to small details goes a long way.
Smell good
Smelling good is important. Make sure that you are not putting too much of your cologne, or that can ruin your date as well. Something fresh and light is all you are going to need. Make sure that the perfume is not overpowering.
Hold a good posture
Hold a good posture on your first date. Do not slouch; that makes a person look bored and not very confident. This is something that you often ignore, but a good posture changes your body language, and you will look alert and confident. And let’s admit it, both of those are attractive qualities.
Get some sleep
Getting a good night’s sleep before you go on a date is important. It will make you look rested, and you will feel more positive and energetic after that. Your data is not going to be appreciated if you keep yawning the entire night.
Smile
Just relax and enjoy the evening. If you are somehow nervous or tense, it is going to show on your face. The only way to fight this is with a smile. It makes you look approachable and friendly. So, think about something that makes you happy, and you will have a smile on your face automatically.
How to dress on a first date
First impressions matter. And you never get a second chance to make that first impression again. So, you have to make sure that it goes right. It is not possible to know a lot of things or do a lot of things on your first date. However, you can dress up with every ounce of confidence in your body to go for that first date.
Wear something that will boost your confidence
The best you can do is wear something that makes you feel like yourself. It might sound like a cliche, but it is a fact that when you look good, you also feel good. So, if you are worried about what to wear on your first date, go for something that you are comfortable in, and that is going to boost your confidence.
Can’t decide what to wear? Wear black or red
It is not just me who is saying this. There are various psychologists who have mentioned that black and red are the best colors to choose on your first date. These romantic colors look more attractive on a date.
Try not to wear brown or orange
Having somewhat of an idea about what you are going to wear is good. However, knowing clearly what not to wear is more important. According to some research, experts have mentioned that wearing brown or orange is not a good idea for a first date.
Wear something practical and comfortable
Wear something comfortable on your first date. Because body language matters, and when you are uncomfortable, it shows in your body language, and that can send a wrong message.
You might be crossing your arms because you are cold, and the other person might think that you are getting uneasy, or you could be holding a purse close to your stomach because it is too tight, and it can portray something entirely different.
Show-off your neck
This one is specifically for women. You might want to show off a little cleavage to grab some attention. However, showing off a little too much might ruin your chances of getting that second date.
Instead of that, draw attention to your shoulder area and neck. It is one of the most vital areas (if you know, you know.) Try to show your neckline, sweep off your hair from one side to another, or wear an outfit with an open neckline.
Do not look unapproachable or overly trendy
For your first date, choose something classic. If you wear something extremely fashion-forward or super trendy, it might turn out to be unapproachable or materialistic. The motive is to look effortless, even if it took you hours to get ready.
Go for a no-make-up look
Try to keep things simple. Do not go overboard on your make-up skills and do a heavy make-up. It might have a negative impact on your date. Stick to minimal makeup and do not go for heavy contrasts, like a dark smokey eye or a berry red lipstick.
Be yourself
Clothes do not speak for themselves or have meaning by themselves. However, they take significance when they are put into context. Your outfit should say who you are and get a sneak peek into your personality. So, choose something that reflects you and your personality.
How to have a great first date
Well, if you are going on a first date and thinking about making it special for the other person, then here are some tips you can follow to make your date a special one.
Think of some conversation starters
If you have stage fright or get nervous when you have to speak with someone in person, then it is best that you prepare some conversation starters from before. These are going to help you have a smooth conversation with your date.
Put your phone in the silent mode
Pay attention. This is something everyone is going to look for on the first date. Listen to what they have to say, and actually listen. Keep your phone away, on silent mode so that your date has your full attention.
Discuss positive topics
Try not to get into topics that can turn serious or get you awkward thinking that this is your first date. Discuss positive topics and talk about positive things. Once you get comfortable with the other person, then you can discuss other topics, but the first one should be fun.
Calm yourself
It can be taxing thinking that you are going on your first date. However, the trick is to stay calm, have control over your nerves, and relax. If you get frazzled, you are going to mess things up, so stay calm and carry on.
If things are not going well, you can leave
Nobody expects their first date to turn out to be awful. But let’s face facts: we all have been on first dates where we have kept our best friends on standby, ready with an emergency to rescue us from a horrible date. So, stay prepared, and leave in case it is not working out at all.
Take charge and text them if you want a second date
If you want to have a second date, just pick up the phone and text them. If you are not comfortable texting, then give them a call. I know, you are thinking this could seem like a desperate move, but it is not.
If you have enjoyed the date and want to have a second date, just call them and ask. If they agree, then you are all sorted, and if not, then move along.
How to prepare mentally for a first date
Till now, we were discussing ‘how to prepare for a first date?” But now, let’s talk about how to prepare for a first date, mentally. Feeling nervous about going on your first date is natural. But you can tackle your nerves; here is how you can overcome your own intrusive thoughts.
Set realistic expectations
Not everything turns out to be perfect, so do not set high hopes or unrealistic ones, for that matter. It might not be a perfect one, and it is all about getting to know the other person. If things do not go as planned, do not stress about it. You will learn from your experience.
Talk to a friend before going
We all have that friend who motivates us before we do something big. Talk to that person about your pre-date jitters, and let them know that you are going cold feet. Talking about these feelings often brings relief, even more than your friend’s reassurance.
Walk it off
Go for a short walk before getting ready and going out. A little bit of workout can clear your mind and release that built-up tension.
Talk to yourself
Try to replace all those negative thoughts with some positive affirmations. Talking positively to yourself can boost your confidence and get you into a positive mindset before your date.
Choose a familiar spot
Choose a place where you have been before. A familiar environment might ease up some of the tension. You can minimize the uncertainty in a few places where you have control over the situation.
Practice self-care
Indulge in a self-care routine. For instance, take a relaxing bath, or try out a specific skin-care routine, which will help you boost your confidence before you leave for your date. Read a chapter from your favorite book, that also helps.
Focus on the other person
When you are nervous, you become conscious and overthink every said word. To prevent that from happening, try to shift your focus to the other person. Listen to what they have to say, or ask a few questions yourself and get into a conversation.
Self-compassion is important
Do not be too harsh on yourself. It is okay if you want your first date to be perfect and make a good impression on yourself. But things don’t always go as we plan them, so do not feel awkward about it, and give yourself a break.
Fun first-date ideas
There is always one person in a relationship who takes the majority of the planning portion. So, if this is your first rodeo, and you are thinking about how to prepare for a first date and where to go on your first date, then here are some ideas that might help.
Go for a walk
Just imagine you walking through a beautiful walkway, holding hands and having an endless conversation. There is nothing more beautiful and classic about going for a walk on your first date.
Take a winery or brewery tour
Take a tour of your local winery or brewery and check out their beverages. This way you get to learn something new together, and there is always a chance that you are going to discover your favorite wine or brew for your future dates.
Catch a comedy show
An improv or comedy show is perfect for a first date. This could be a fun bonding time, and you will get to know if you two share the same sense of humor.
Coffee dates are never outdated
Going on a classic coffee date is something you can never go wrong with. It might seem a little laid back, so come prepared with your list of conversation starters.
Get some dessert
Getting dinner together is traditional. So, if you wish to try something else, then why not go on a dessert date? You can choose a local confectionary or a high-end restaurant; it will definitely go well.
Volunteer together
Volunteering together can promote a kind of sense of teamwork and in return, help you bond over having a common goal. You get to know each other’s capacity for empathy and compassion.
Visit a gallery or museum
If you have a knack for art and want to discuss it, then take the other person to a museum or a gallery. It could be about contemporary photography or Egyptian sculptures. Whatever it is, it will give you a lot to discuss about.
Try a food truck
It is obvious that everyone would choose a good, stuffy restaurant for their first date. So, try something different this time, and take your date to a food truck. The environment helps you ease up, and you get to know each other better.
Restaurants you can choose for your first date
Choosing a good restaurant is also an important aspect of preparing for your first date. Here are some of the places mentioned where you can take that special person on your first date.
CCD
If you think about the tagline CCD has chosen for themselves, then you would know how true it is. “A lot can happen over coffee.” Well, it’s true, so check where your first date takes you.
Costa Coffee
Well, this is one of the best coffee joints, and you get your pick as they are not going to disappoint you. You can order cappuccinos, coolers, lattes, and milkshakes, along with some light snacks. Best for a simple coffee date.
Baskin Robbins
For a dessert date, there is no place better than Baskin Robbins. And there is no person at all who doesn’t love ice cream. So, go pick a flavor and enjoy your first date over some delicious ice cream.
Drunken Monkey
This Indian food chain is popular for its smoothies and beverages. Just get into the “natural high” with their drinks and enjoy your first date.
Starbucks
If you want to go on a fancy coffee date, then Starbucks is your place. And not just coffee, this place is known for serving some light savouries, and delectable desserts.
McDonald’s
As a ’90s kid, I grew up having those happy meals. And as we grow up we lose touch with those little happiness. Here is your chance to relive those moments and have a great first date as well.
Burger King
If you know each other’s preferences then it gets a lot easier to choose a place. But if you are in doubt and in the mood for a good burger, do not think twice and take your date to Burger King.
Barbeque Nation
This one is considered one of the most exciting restaurant chains in the country. If you are a foodie and want to enjoy their buffet spread, then do not think twice, and take your date here.
Mainland China
Try to know the preference of your date, before you pick a restaurant. If your date loves Chinese food, then there is no need to think again and just take them to Mainland China.
Flame & Grill
This restaurant chain is quite similar to Barbeque Nation and comes with a grill table and a buffet spread. So enjoy your first food date together.
Oh! Calcutta
If you love Bengali cuisine, then there is no better place to choose as your first date. They serve food from Bengali cuisine like no other restaurant. If you are trying to impress a Bengali, then this should definitely be your pick.
What food should you order on your first date?
First dates are difficult and stressful. When you are thinking about how to prepare for your first date, you have to think about every aspect of a first date. The situation is already stressful and you do not want to stress over food as well. So here’s what you should order to avoid making a mess.
Bite-sized pasta
Get bite-size pizzas like Penne, farfalle, or Ziti since you can have a good grab with your fork and can protect your outfit from getting stains.
Sushi
Looking for something easy to eat? Order sushi. They are beautiful, clean, and easy to eat. All you have to do is master the art of grabbing the chopsticks. This could also turn out to be a fun first-date idea.
Chicken
Chicken is the perfect food for a first date. Not everyone prefers red meat and it also leaves you with a bloated feeling. Almost every restaurant has chicken dishes which you can choose from.
Risotto
Risotto is a perfect first-date food. It sticks to your spoon or fork and even if you drop it, there are chances that it is not going to stain your dress. It has a lot of varieties to choose from.
Quesadilla
Love Mexican food but scared that you will make a mess on your first date? Then, choose quesadilla, as they are clean and compact, and you can customize it according to your preference.
Dessert
Everybody would choose a cafe or a restaurant for their first date, so you go the different way and take your date out for desserts. They are easy to eat, hassle-free, and, of course, fun.
Wrapping up!
So, here is your complete guide on “how to prepare for a first date.” it is understandable that you would be nervous, and things can get messed up a little. So, prepare yourself mentally for the worst-case scenarios, and go easy on yourself.
It might go as exactly as you have planned it, or some things might not work out the way you wanted. Just focus on knowing the other person, and you will get ample time to fix those little mishaps if you know the person well.
Now that you know the gist, customize your plan accordingly and have an amazing first date. Enjoy yourself, know the person, and do not hesitate to take the lead and call them out on a second date. Good luck.
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