Have you ever been in a one sided relationship? Have you ever felt that in your relationship you are the only one trying to keep it working? If you have, then you might be in a one-sided relationship.
In this article we have talked about one sided relationship, what causes it, signs of one sided relationships, effects of one sided-relationship, and how to cope with one sided relationship. If this is something you are going through, then read this article to learn when to end a one-sided relationship.
What is a one sided relationship?
If you don’t know what one sided relationships mean, then let us explain it to you. A one sided relationship means when only one person invests more effort and energy in making a relationship work.
In a healthy relationship, there are two people who put equal efforts and energy to make a relationship work. But relationships that are one sided, have only one person or one side putting efforts while the other side makes little to no effort in the relationship.
This misbalances the relationship dynamic which in turn makes it hard for the person who puts more time and effort in the relationship. It becomes hard to carry on the relationship alone when your partner does not reciprocate your feeling in the long run. So, what really causes one sided relationships in the present times? Let’s know about it.
What causes one sided relationships?
Let us now know what causes one sided relationships. What are the factors that lead to relationships becoming one sided or causing relationship imbalance?
Poor Communication
Relationships that are one sided often have this leading factor of poor communication as the reason for having a one sided relationship. Often in a one-sided relationship there are one or both parties without any proper communication skills. Partners might not share their feelings or only one does while the other doesn’t.
Partners also don’t share their preference or needs with each other. So, practicing on improving your communication skill is very important to express and understand emotions and problems and find solution to the problem.
Insecurity
Another leading factor in one sided relationship is insecurity. Everybody wants to be loved but when only one person in a relationship does everything fearing the person they love might leave them otherwise that’s not love.
That’s one sided relationship where only you are putting in efforts while the other person has taken you for granted. This often roots from the insecurity of losing the relationship that they have come to depend upon.
Conflicting Expectations
Everybody has different ideas about what a relationship is and what they want out of it. So, when a person thinks they are in a committed relationship they try to devote their time and effort to it.
On the other hand, the other person who only wants to be in the relationship because he hates being single. Or someone who is used to the relationship for a long time and hates change won’t necessarily put any effort in the relationship. This person has already taken the relationship for granted.
Attachment Styles
In an adult relationship, attachment styles play a major role in people’s behavior. For example, if a person easily gets attached to the other person while dating and begins a relationship with someone who does not get attached to people immediately, the first person might feel the other person does not like them.
Again, a more emotionally independent person being in a relationship with an anxious attachment style person makes the latter person feel like they are not loved. This leads to a strained relationship where one person is clinging to and immersed into the relationship while the other is not.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
One sided relationship occurs when one person shows passive-aggressive behavior by putting all responsibility on the other partner. The person with passive-aggressive behavior tends to avoid dealing with certain responsibility in a relationship and burden the other with those duties. This causes one-sided relationships as one person has to deal with all the responsibilities.
Individual Problems
A romantic relationship means you can love, trust and depend on one another when needed. But if due to any individual problems due to stress or health problems, one partner starts to neglect the other person or does not confide with their partner then the relationship can become one sided.
Individual problems like mental health conditions can also cause havoc in a relationship when both parties in a relationship don’t communicate properly.
What are the signs of one sided relationships?
Now that you know what causes one sided relationship, let us now see what are the signs of one sided relationships? Relationships that are one sided doesn’t necessarily mean romantic relationships. One sided relationships can be interpersonal between your friends, co-workers and even your parents.
So how do we know which relationships are one side? These are the signs of a one sided relationship.
Having to make most decisions on your own
Do you make most of the important decisions in your relationship? Does the other person avoid or don’t care about making important decisions together?
Then this is a major sign that you are in a one way relationship where you are taking the maximum decisions.
You are the expected to be the first person to start communication and plans
Are you always contacting the person first to ask about their day or plans? Are you the one always making efforts to plan a date or dinner so that both of you can meet?
Then you might be in a one-sided relationship. In one-sided relationship it’s often one person who is trying to meet the other and making plans. While the other person rarely plans activities, that will make the other person happy.
You are always the first person to apologize
Are you always the first person to apologize after a conflict or full-blown argument?
Then you are in a one sided relationship. You are always the first person to reach out or make amends after a fight and try to end the fight and move on.
Feeling insecure and unsure about your place in their life
The feeling of insecurity is a major sign of a one sided relationship. When the other person is not putting much effort into the relationship you start to question their commitment, intensions, and the future of the relationship. You also start questioning your place or importance in their life.
Poor communication
You might feel that the other person might not listen to you or care about you. You might not understand what your conversations mean, and u feel unsatisfied with your discussion with the other person.
What causes one sided relationships and what are the signs of one sided relationship has this major factor of poor communication as one of the top points that results in end of relationship as well.
Imbalanced financial obligations
Are you paying for most of the expenses in your relationship? Is your partner not contributing enough in your shared expenses? Do they expect you to full fill their financial obligations?
Then you are in a single sided relationship.
You find yourself making excuses for their behavior
Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner about their investment in the relationship both financial and emotional? Then you my friend are in a one sided relationship.
Relationship that are one sided tend to be lonely with you dealing with your problems alone instead of sharing with your partner. The other person is always absent when you need them the most.
Sacrificing your happiness to make the other person happy
Do you feel like you are letting go of things you love to be in a relationship? Are you sacrificing everything for the relationship? Then you might want to stop that as you are in a one-sided relationship.
In this kind of relation, nothing you do will matter as there is only one person in the relationship and that’s you.
Effects Of One Sided Relationship
One-sided relationships are painful and toxic especially for the person who is more invested in the relationship emotionally. One sided relationships can leave damaging effects on your life.
Here’s how one-sided relationships can affect you. Increase in stress level Your stress level will increase when in this kind of relationship with effects on your mental and physical health. You might also suffer from anxiety, depression, sleep issues, and other negative effects on your health due to relationship problems in one sided relationship.
Low self-esteem
Relationships that are one sided will constantly lead to disappointments. You will feel unloved, unsupported and rejected, which will make it hard for you to feel confident and secure in yourself. Thus, low self-esteem is often seen in people who are in one sided relationship.
Loneliness
You might feel lonely and isolated after continuously putting efforts on your part to hold on to the relationship and solve problems in it. When to end a one sided relationship?
Ending a relationship is hard but do you know what’s harder than that is being in a one sided relationship where your only gain is pain and heartbreak. So don’t wait till you have reached your breaking point to end things with the other person.
Here are some signs that will tell you when to leave a one sides relationship.
1. When the other person dismisses your concerns about the relationship and your feelings when questioned directly about what they bring to the relationship.
2. When the person in question ignores and refuses to acknowledge your concerns when you share your needs and problems with them.
3. When they are gaslighting you or making you feel like the concerns you are sharing with them are unfound and all in your head. Especially if the other person says this type of cold behavior in a relationship is normal.
Conclusion
One sided relationships are harder to come out of especially when the other person who has taken you for granted attempts to resist the ending of the relationship. Since you are more into the relationship you will find it hard to leave them, especially when they are telling you to not leave.
But unfortunate in relationship that is one sided, the other person resists ending of the relationship because of a selfish reason most of the time. They resist ending the relationship because they realize their support source is leaving.
So, remind yourself of the reason for which you are leaving the relationship and leave them for your well-being. Also try finding support and love from your loved ones or see a therapist if the break-up is hard. Lastly, be kind to yourself.
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